Alma 27: You Don't Have to Live Like a Refugee

The Anti-Nephi-Lehies have a big problem:  they're still living in Lamanite territory and the Lamanites still like to kill them because they don't fight back.  What's a righteous, God-fearing society to do?


Another King Gets Conned
Ammon has this brilliant idea that the Anti-Nephi-Lehies should evacuate themselves from Lamanite lands, but he meets some resistance from their king.  The exchange between them (verses 4-14) goes roughly like this:

Ammon:  Let's get out of here!
King:  We can't.  They'll kill us because our people used to murder their people.
Ammon:  Would you do it if God said we should do it?
King:  Of course!
Ammon:  Okay, let me ask God real quick.
(time passes)
Ammon:  God says let's do it! 

This doesn't seem suspicious to anyone else? Ammon doesn't get what he wants, so he gets the king to commit to follow God's counsel.  Then he mysteriously gets God's counsel in private and tells the king that God said to do whatever Ammon wanted.  Crazy how that all worked out in Ammon's favor.

But then again, the Book of Mormon seems to have a lot of gullible monarchs.


If You Fail to Plan...

Ammon goes to rescue the Anti-Nephi-Lehies from enemy territory.  This is the brilliantly-executed sequence of events:

1. The Anti-Nephi-Lehies gather up all their stuff and walk out of the Lamanite kingdom. (verse 14)
2. Ammon leads the people into the wilderness between Lamanite and Nephite territory and has them wait there while he goes and figures out where they'll be allowed to live on Nephite lands. (verses 14-15)
3. On his way to speak with the Nephite leaders about his group of stranded refugees, Ammon meets his old friend Alma and gets distracted. (verses 16-19)
4. Ammon goes to speak with the chief judge about the situation, but not before dropping his buddy off at his house to chill for a bit. (verse 20)
5. The chief judge sends out a message across the realm to ask the people what they wanted to do with the new friends being thrust upon them. (verse 21)
6. The people come back with an oddly specific consensus for such a large group of people, offering up a particular corner of the nation for the Anti-Nephi-Lehies to inhabit. (verses 22-24)
7. Ammon goes back to the Anti-Nephi-Lehi camp and helps them move in to the land of Jershon according to the Nephites' arrangement.  (verses 25-26)

So much about this is idiotic.

What if the king of the Anti-Nephi-Lehies had been right and the Nephites had either killed them or left them stranded in the wilderness?  Why didn't Ammon act with a little more urgency on his way to the chief judge so that his friends didn't have to camp out in the middle of nowhere for so long?  Why would an entire group of Nephites unanimously offer to just pick up and move out of their homes so that the Anti-Nephi-Lehies could move in?  And most importantly, why didn't Ammon plan this stuff out in advance to speed the process up and make sure that nothing went wrong, considering the high risk of the scheme in the first place?

Haven't We Been Here Before, Again?

When Ammon runs into his old buddy Alma the Younger, he passes out with happiness:

Now the joy of Ammon was so great even that he was full; yea, he was swallowed up in the joy of his God, even to the exhausting of his strength; and he fell again to the earth.

Slipping into unconsciousness due to religious ecstasy or repentant intensity has happened a lot so far in the Book of Mormon.  It's happened so often that even the author acknowledges it by using the word "again" in this verse.

Joseph Smith must be running out of creative juices at this point in his dictation of the book, so I guess he's had to reuse some of his favorite elements a few times.

God is my Co-signer

My sister recently sent out an email to the whole family linking to an article about the church's construction projects near the new Philadelphia temple site.

It's not a billion-dollar mall this time, but it is a little peculiar that, in addition to the temple and the chapel, the church is also throwing up a 32-story apartment complex and a row of posh townhouses.  The church is going to rake in hundreds of thousands of dollars monthly from this complex.

In a reply email, another sister casually asked if anyone knew why the church was putting up an apartment building...but that was the end of the discussion.  Nobody answered her question by pointing out that the church is essentially a for-profit organization, but nobody tried to explain that the church was simply trying to increase the quality and safety of the neighborhood surrounding its inner-city temple, either.  While I found it a little encouraging that at least one of my sisters felt the need to ask what I feel is a very important question, the fact that the conversation ended without a resolution is kind of depressing.  Most of my family legitimately doesn't care what the church is doing.  Apparently, since the church can do no wrong, they don't need to concern themselves with its corporate functions.

I wish I'd had the guts (or a strong enough relationship with them) to reply with links about the City Creek Mall, the expensive missionary-run hunting preserve, the huge property buys in Florida and the numerous for-profit businesses that are owned and operated by the church.  The problem is that, once I got going, I'd probably pick up so much momentum and be practically screaming at them via email.

...and people tend to understandably resist such angry and violent opposition to their most dearly held beliefs.  So I'd have accomplished nothing.  Meanwhile, the church would continue to make more money from them and a few million other people who willingly donate ten percent of their income to an organization that is starting to resemble a real estate company more than a church.

I'd used to assume that the church had so many business interests just because it liked making even more money than it already had.  But now I'm starting to wonder if the leadership is acutely aware of how membership statistics are flagging and they're working to build the business end of the church specifically so that they'll still have a substantial income once their loyal tithe-payers have dwindled.

Alma 26: Ammon Bloviates

Ammon, Aaron, Omner and Himni are considering their success as missionaries in the land of the Lamanites.


Ammon Humblebrags
In a manner to be imitated by thousands of Mormon missionaries centuries hence, Ammon reviews the glories of his own achievements while pretending to credit them to God.  Until, of course, Aaron calls him on it:

And it came to pass that when Ammon had said these words, his brother Aaron rebuked him, saying: Ammon, I fear that thy joy doth carry thee away unto boasting.

To which Ammon swiftly replies:

I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

It might have been a convincing correction to his earlier appearance of pride had he not continued for twenty-five more verses in a dramatic, grandstanding mini-sermon to his missionary brothers.


Ammon Doesn't Understand God
Our favorite righteous psychopath makes some specious claims about his Father in Heaven during his lengthy speech:

Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord?  Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men?  Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.

Who could have supposed that our God would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our awful, sinful, and polluted state? 

Okay, first of all, genius, God is the one who put us in our awful, sinful and polluted state.  It was part of his ineffective and unnecessarily complicated plan for us.  And secondly, look at all the unmerciful, unforgiving  things he's done to your civilization in the last few hundred years.  Look at how much death and destruction has been perpetrated among the Nephites and Lamanites that was either done in his name or credited to him.  He's not a very nice guy.  He doesn't deserve your verbose accolades.

And just you wait until he uses the wicked Lamanites to destroy your people in five hundred years or so.


Self-Sacrifice Isn't Inherently Good
Ammon praises the virtues of the Anti-Nephi-Lehies and their willingness to die rather than fight against their murderous kin.

...and we know that they have gone to their God, because of their love and of their hatred to sin.

It seems silly that it needs to be said, but let me be clear anyway:  A person's willingness to die for his beliefs is only an indicator of the level of his convictions.  It does not mean that his motives are pure.  The Anti-Nephi-Lehies' pacifism doesn't mean they were all wonderful people who abhorred sin and loved their fellow man.  Ammon seems to think that sacrificing one's life is a true and irrefutable sign of godliness.  But it's only a sign of a willingness to sacrifice one's life.

And often, I think it's a sign of being duped.  These people became convinced by Ammon and his brothers that their lives were less important than their pacifism and that it was better to die than to justifiably defend themselves.  I see nothing good in that.  Ammon, however, sees only good in that.

But then, Ammon isn't exactly the model of righteousness what with his wanton violence, so what does he know?

Alma 25: Just Desserts

So where were we?  The Lamanites are still bloodthirsty and evil and the Anti-Nephi-Lehies are too stupid to run away from them.


Never Blame Yourself
The Lamanites make a confusing collective decision in verse 1:

And behold, now it came to pass that those Lamanites were more angry because they had slain their brethren; therefore they swore vengeance upon the Nephites; and they did no more attempt to slay the people of Anti-Nephi-Lehi at that time.

Standing over the bloody corpses of the Anti-Nephi-Lehies, the Lamanite soldiers realize that some of their buddies have actually joined the group of pacifists and been slaughtered alongside of them.  Their reaction?  To go kill some Nephites.

What do the Nephites have to do with any of this?  Why not keep killing the Anti-Nephi-Lehies, since they're the ones who'd lured their brethren to their deaths?  Or why not, you know, stop butchering people and go home?

But somehow, they decide that it's not their fault that they murdered their own countrymen.  It's those damn dirty Nephites.


Some Delicious Comeuppances
The Lamanites, in their inexplicable rage against the Nephites, "fell upon the people who were in the land of Ammonihah and destroyed them."  Finally those arrogant jerks who rejected Alma and Amulek all those chapters ago get what they deserved, right?  Funny how when the chief judge of Ammonihah burns a whole pile of people it's a horrible tragedy but when God punishes the entire city by having the Lamanites kill everyone it's justice.

And then the Lamanites hunt down the people of Amulon, who were the wicked King Noah's priests back in the day.  Verse 9 reads:

Thus the words of Abinadi were brought to pass, which he said concerning the seed of the priests who caused that he should suffer death by fire.

Sure, some of Abinadi's prophecies were brought to pass.  The descendants of Amulon's cronies were indeed chased and smitten and destroyed.  But he wasn't batting anywhere close to a thousand:

And it will come to pass that ye shall be afflicted with all manner of diseases because of your iniquities.  (Mosiah 17:16)

Where was that one fulfilled?  And then there's the most memorable, dramatic threat of the bunch:

And in that day ye shall be hunted, and ye shall be taken by the hand of your enemies, and then ye shall suffer, as I suffer, the pains of death by fire.  (Mosiah 17:18)

As far as this chapter is concerned, the Lamanites destroyed Amulon's clan with the sword.  There's no mention of the Lamanite hordes burning them alive.  But questionable prophet cred aside, at least we get to enjoy some tasty cathartic destruction of some people who we're told totally had it coming.


Why Are We Doing This Again?
The righteous civilizations then lapsed back into a period of peace and piety, focusing on adherence to the Law of Moses:

Now they did not suppose that salvation came by the law of Moses; but the law of Moses did serve to strengthen their faith in Christ; and thus they did retain a hope through faith, unto eternal salvation, relying upon the spirit of prophecy, which spake of those things to come.

If I'd been an ancient Nephite, I would've been pretty pissed about this.

So...we're following a set of extremely rigorous rules because God told us to, except we can't overcome our sinful natures and ascend to heaven by doing it?  Why should we follow these rules then?  To earn irredeemable brownie points?  Screw that.

Alma 24: The Anti-Nephi-Lehies' Last Stand

Lots of stuff happens in this chapter.  The Lamanites decide they hate the Nephite-loving, righteous-living Anti-Nephi-Lehies, so the only obvious choice for them is to send an army to kill them.  Meanwhile, the Anti-Nephi-Lehies have pledged pacifism and buried all their weapons underground.

When the Lamanites attack, the Anti-Nephi-Lehies just sit there praying while their enemies brutally slaughter them.  Some of the Lamanites, however, realize that killing people who are praying instead of fighting back might be morally wrong, instantly repent, throw down their swords, and join the pacifists.

Yeah, it's kind of a weird book.


It's a Numbers Game
Verse 22 mentions that the Lamanites killed one thousand and five of the Anti-Nephi-Lehies.  But it's totally fine because verse 26 explains that "the people of God were joined that day by more than the number who had been slain."  Because it doesn't matter how many innocent people were slaughtered just so long as the membership has a net gain, right?  Surely this bloody spectacle is a cause for celebration.


Martyrdom is Not a Virtue
Verse 26 highlights a particularly dangerous quality of some religions (and lots of cults).

And it came to pass that the people of God were joined that day by more than the number who had been slain; and those who had been slain were righteous people, therefore we have no reason to doubt but what they were saved.

This tries to spin the senseless violence as a victory for the victims, which kind of devalues their lives...and condones reckless self-sacrifice.  Sacrificing yourself to push your daughter out of the way of an oncoming car is one thing.  Letting yourself be stabbed to death because you have faith in God and you were silly enough to make a covenant with him that precludes you from defending yourself doesn't really strike me as responsible decision-making.

And beyond that, why can we assume that just because someone has the conviction to die for their beliefs it follows that they were righteous enough to achieve salvation?  Dying for what you believe in doesn't mean you led a virtuous life.

Also, "but what they were saved"?  I take it that's an ancient Reformed Egyptian syntax?


Less Racist, but Only Just
This chapter, shockingly, depicts Lamanites manning up and doing the right thing (after doing something horrible).  But before we celebrate the Book of Mormon correcting a bit of its own racism, let's check with verses 28 and 29:

Now the greatest number of those of the Lamanites who slew so many of their brethren were Amalekites and Amulonites, the greatest number of whom were after the order of the Nehors.

Now, among those who joined the people of the Lord, there were none who were Amalekites or Amulonites, or who were of the order of Nehor, but they were actual descendants of Laman and Lemuel.

Oh, okay.  So two groups of the cursed descendants of some bad guys finally get their chance to shine by abandoning their murderous ways, but the actions described still break down pretty simply along ethnic or ancestral lines.  The Anti-Nephi-Lehies formerly known as Lamanites?  They're all good.  The Amalekites?  All bad.  The Amulonites?  All bad.  At least the Lamanites get split between the good and evil camps, but they're still slaughtering each other, so I don't know that this really counts as a nuanced (read:  not racist) depiction of their people.