Tuesday, November 6, 2018

So Long, and Thanks for All the Shiz

When the November 2015 policy came out, I was furious.  I couldn't sit with how blatantly the church was punishing its gay members and leveraging their own children against them.  In the days following the leak, I wrote a page-long letter to LDS headquarters outlining how completely the apostles had lost any kind of moral compass and requesting that my name be removed from the records of the church.  

I didn't send it.  I was concerned that local leadership may inform my mother that I'd resigned.  I didn't want to cause her more heartbreak beyond what she'd already experienced merely from having an inactive son.  But it feels increasingly more important to send a message to the Church Office Building that their authoritarianism is immoral and indefensible.  Should local leaders choose to inform my parents of my personal decision, it will be they, not I, who have hurt my mother.

I also have nephews to think of.  Of course, more broadly, I support Sam Young's quest to help protect children from the shaming and grooming that too easily result from invasive questions from priesthood authority figures behind closed doors.  But isn't it worth risking my mother's disappointment to try to help protect her grandchildren—and countless other innocent kids—by adding my voice to a chorus that informs the apostles that their inaction and insouciance and imperiousness are not things that people are going to continue to tolerate?

I received confirmation of my resignation from QuitMormon.com on October 30th.  It needed to be done.

As I side note, I find it kind of interesting that my ordinances have now been revoked as a matter of procedure.  My baptism and confirmation no longer count.  But it seems incongruous that what had been established by God's appointed bishops and elders and high priests could be undone with something so mundane as an administrative task completed by an unknown bureaucrat.  If it takes magic to create something, shouldn't it take magic to destroy it?  How can the sign-off of an employee in the Confidential Records department have the ability to undo what the power of the Priesthood put in place?

Either some of the rules of Mormon mythology are inconsistent or the apostles have to hold periodic temple rituals to perform ordinance nullifications for batches of resigned apostates. 


  1. Well said. What you are getting into now is what most of my issue with the church is, the actual theology and doctrines. History is not such a big issue, but it pretty much seals the lid on box of horsey-poop that is the modern day church.

    Agreed on your thought about the ease with which one can be dismissed. I was ex'd myself and wondered the same thing. If it is merely a stroke of a pen that can remove everything, why all the special clothing, handshakes, pools of water, etc? The same goes for the theology of work for the dead. If Jesus could "save" everyone through one act on a cross, why couldn't just one act on behalf of all dead take care of everyone? I have tons of theological issues, such as "families are forever". Run that one through your logical brain and you can see how ridiculous that one is. And how about resurrection? I have a physical body but can go into outer space without my cells exploding and I can walk through walls, and be invisible when I want? Ridiculous!

    Sorry, I got on a rant. Best wishes to you and good on you for taking the moral step and getting the hell out!

    1. Haha, thanks! And don't worry, fun rants are always welcome.

      Mormon theology is best viewed from a distance. Big picture, it seems nice. If you try to zoom in and get into the details, it starts to fall apart. That's where you get stuff like the nitty gritty of resurrection. And not having blood in the celestial kingdom. And the TK Smoothie. And so, so much more horsey-poop.

  2. Congratulations on getting out. I know it's a hard decision. One of, if not the most, damaging doctrines of the church is teaching people they can't be with family in the next life without the temple ordinances. It's sad to actually hear people say from the pulpit that they lost their child. They speak as though the child had somehow tragically died, but in reality they had simply become inactive in the church.

    I would love to read your letter if/when you're ready to share it.

    Finally, it's interesting that information held at the "Confidential" Records department of the church can make it back to your parents through local leaders. So much for confidentiality!

    1. That IS one of the most damaging doctrines, I agree. I still try really hard to be a good person, but that doesn't matter if I don't go to church because my mom still thinks once she dies she'll never see me again. That is an incredibly cruel mindset to preach to your followers.

      I also might not have the letter I wrote. It's buried somewhere 1.5 hard drives ago and I don't think it was that poignant. And a big part of it was emphasizing how much of an inappropriate invasion of privacy it would be to inform family members or local leaders of my resignation and that I did not give them permission to do so. Not that any of that would have made a difference. Because, as you indicated...confidential means confidential in the same way that tapir means horse.