Wednesday, August 1, 2012

When Patriarchs Become Obsolete

An interesting thought occurred to me last night as I was trying to explain patriarchal blessings to my nevermo girlfriend.

I showed her mine as an example, and I noted that it planned my whole life out for me.  It mentioned school, marriage, kids, and all the way up to being an empty-nester (when my wife and I, of course, will become temple workers).  And I considered what would happen if the second coming of Jesus Christ were actually approaching.  How would that affect patriarchal blessings?

I'm too lazy to look up the actual scriptures at the moment, but the idea is that the Second Coming will come "as a thief in the night" and "no man knoweth the day" when all this end-of-the-world stuff is actually going to go down.

But let's say, for example, that God secretly has the Second Coming penciled in for the year 2060.  I'll be into my seventies by then, so there's no reason that everything in my patriarchal blessing wouldn't have come true by then (uh, you know, assuming certain things like Mormonism being true and all).

But what happens if my son, born in the year 2022, goes and gets his patriarchal blessing.  The millenium will be happening before he hits forty.  What would his blessing say about his later years?  Since nobody's allowed to know when Jesus is returning, the patriarch wouldn't be able to foresee that.  Is there just going to be a blank spot in the timeline the patriarch lays out in the blessing?

What about my grandchild, born in 2044?  If he gets his patriarchal blessing at age 15, it's only a few months away from the Second Coming.  How could a patriarch possibly give him any useful advice without giving away the fact that the majority of his lifetime will be under the personal reign of Jesus Christ?

Screw all this crap about 2012 being the apocalypse.  As soon as Mormons everywhere get up in arms about blank sections of their lives missing from their patriarchal blessings, then I'll start worrying about the end of the world.

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