tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172451149432147710.post2792819126999996283..comments2023-05-10T10:41:32.689-04:00Comments on Against the Greater Light: Musings on AngerAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14724409661360473452noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172451149432147710.post-38009215474640800122013-07-30T00:50:55.144-04:002013-07-30T00:50:55.144-04:00I'm sure you already know this, but you are da...I'm sure you already know this, but you are darn lucky that your wife is sharing your path out. If I'd managed to stick it out as a believer for a few more years, I'd be married with a kid or two by now...and if I had doubts then, what would I do?<br /><br />I'm like 98.4% sure my dad knows that I'm am currently violating the law of chastity, but I don't know that he's shared his knowledge with anyone--he is good at keeping confidences. I'm betting the rest of my family only hold strong suspicions.<br /><br />You (and your family), hang in there too. What I've loved about being a part of the ex-Mormon blogosphere, the ex-Mormon reddit, and a few ex-Mormon message boards is how much easier it makes things seem when you know that other people are hanging on for the same reasons you are. I'm not an internet dinosaur, but I've been active online for more than ten years now and feeling this kind of comradeship from any kind of online community is rare. It's nice to see how freely ex-Mormons are extending advice and support to others in similar situations.<br /><br />I guess that's my impromptu ex-Mormon internet testimony. In the name of reason, amen?Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14724409661360473452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172451149432147710.post-45694904568841299872013-07-29T16:46:01.504-04:002013-07-29T16:46:01.504-04:00I haven't told anyone, because the final decis...I haven't told anyone, because the final decision has been more recent, even though it has been moving that direction for a long time. Your blog has helped me a lot to get my thoughts together. As strange as it may seem, I agree with pretty much everything you've said. We still go to church a little bit, though I haven't been to all 3 meetings in years. We live in Utah, and it's really hard to figure out how to extract my kids from it, though we don't pray, read scriptures or hold spiritual family home evenings. We finally got new underwear, and it's a joy to no longer have a constant Melvin reminding me of my religion. We have no callings, except for an easy, meaningless one I have, which requires nothing of me, and we stopped paying tithing. Oh, I quit home teaching too. Yay! I don't know what our next move will be, but I'll continue to have long discussions with my wife about how much we dislike the church and want all out.<br /><br /><br />In your case, your family members probably all think they know (there's nothing like the Mormon grapevine), and they probably think things for you are worse than they probably are. Oh wait, you live with your girlfriend, watch porn, listen to heavy metal music, published a book with lots of swearing and sex, and write a really cool anti-mormon blog. They probably do have it about right. You'll just be confirming it. Hang in there man. Things will all work out for you in the end.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172451149432147710.post-27610871441478321772013-07-29T15:28:22.029-04:002013-07-29T15:28:22.029-04:00It is sad.
You haven't told any of your famil...It is sad.<br /><br />You haven't told any of your family? I guess that's easier to pull of when you have your own family and stuff. I was living at home when I left so I couldn't just stop going to church without anyone noticing. Do you prefer it this way? Does it give you more time to figure out how to break the news to them? Or does it make it worse?<br /><br />You (and your mom) are right about the reality not being as bad as what we fear. But in this case, not being as bad as what I fear still gives it plenty of room to be pretty bad! Hence my hesitation. I hope it can be the kind of thing I can look back on later and say how silly I was being. But you can't really know how it'll turn out until you set things in motion.<br /><br />I wonder how much different--and hopefully, how much better--our lives would be if we'd grown up in a world without Mormonism. Because there are tons of people going through this kind of crap, and it's not fair to any of us.Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14724409661360473452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172451149432147710.post-74104638506422834822013-07-29T11:38:27.934-04:002013-07-29T11:38:27.934-04:00Wow. Did this post ever provoke a lot of thoughts ...Wow. Did this post ever provoke a lot of thoughts in me! I don't want to be, but I am very angry too. I am trying not to be angry, but I was taught a huge pile of crap and followed it faithfully for decades. It was taught to me by my family, and learning for myself that the church isn't true has changed the way I feel toward them, my mom in particular. I can't talk with her about it, because she would be absolutely crushed. She's an old woman. The church is her entire life. She has sacrificed a tremendous amount for it, and I believe she will never be happy because of it. She is giving up happiness in this life for a perfect future celestial life that she will never know, because it doesn't exist.<br /><br />The church's machine is set up in such a way that it can turn parent against child, friend against friend, and neighbor against neighbor for something as honest and human as following your personal beliefs and the dictates of your own conscience (thinking for yourself). The use of guilt is tremendous.<br /><br />I don't know how I will ever tell anyone, other than my wife, how I feel, but fortunately, she is in the same place I am. If she weren't, I would never be able to be honest with her about it for fear of her leaving me for someone who could take her to the celestial kingdom. The only person she has told is her inactive, apostate sister. I hope to one day get to the point where I can tell everyone.<br /><br />You said, "it's had some of the worst consequences of any decision I have ever made." From what I can tell, and I've read every post of your blog and your book, the main consequence is losing the relationship with your family. You can't be yourself around them or be completely honest with them for fear of them judging you, bugging you, preaching to you, fasting and praying for you, trying to love you back in, etc. You can't talk about your life, share your book, introduce them to the woman you love, etc, because you know they will criticize you. I think that is true, but it is also really, really sad. All of that come from a church that is supposed to unite families.<br /><br />I learned from my mom that the stories we make up in our heads are pretty much always worse than how things eventually turn out. I hope that is the case for you. You obviously dearly love your family and want a strong relationship with them again. <br /><br />I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com